Mankind has no precedent for the digital era, meaning that each new innovation and method of communication requires that we find out, for the first time, how to navigate it in healthy ways. Courtship, romance, and everything else has been part of humanity’s quota for as long as we’ve existed, but how is that ever going to inform you on how to talk to a girl that you don’t know–but have come to like–on digital mediums such as Snapchat? You probably never thought you’d be reading an article on how to randomly snap a girl, but here we go!
Dating apps have sort of revolutionized dating, but snapchat isn’t really a dating app. A snapchat conversation is easy to start, but you need to know exactly how to talk to a girl on snapchat you’ve never met. THAT is the issue. A girl on snapchat isn’t necessarily on snapchat to start a relationship or respond to potential suitors. Understanding why girls are on snapchat might help us figure out how to start a great conversation that makes a lasting impression! Other guys may skip this step, but not YOU! You’re going to learn how to start a snapchat conversation with a girl before doing it!
Why is a girl on snapchat?
Girls, like guys and people of all genders, use Snapchat for various reasons. Unlike a dating app, where guys and girls have the same goal, motivations for Snapchat vary. To start a conversation with a girl on snapchat, consider why she’s on the platform to begin with. Following are reasons a girl might be on snapchat and how to start a great conversation. Think of this as the context for how to hit a girl up on snap.
- Social Interation: Stay connected with friends and family by sharing photos, videos, and messages.
- Try reviewing her Snapchat content and snap stories to identify a shared interest. Any dating coach will tell you, it’s important to know your subject before you start snapping!
- Next, consider sending a personalized photo or video Snap related to a shared interest. This shows that you’ve engaged with her content.
- Visual Communication: Snapchat is a visual-centric platform, and many girls enjoy expressing themselves creatively through photos, filters, and stickers.
- React to her visual content: If she posts visual content on her snapchat stories, respond to it with your own visual snap instead of a text message. For example, if she shares a photo of her meal, you could respond with a Snap of your own meal and a comment, “That looks delicious! I’m having [her meal].”
- Comment on Her Visual Content: If she posts visually striking content, compliment her creativity or share your thoughts about it. For example, if she posts a beautiful sunrise picture, call it out and start a conversation with “That’s a striking and stunning sunrise!”.
- Once you’ve started a conversation, you could ask for her opinion on something. For instance, if you’re in a department store, you could start a conversatio by saying “I’m looking for a gift for my sister.” Then send her different pictures of gifts and ask which one she likes. Friends help friends, right? Start off as friends, and that has the added benefit of allowing you to understand her insights and tastes in case a future date emerges!
- Sharing Moments: Girls often share moments from their daily lives, such as experiences, events, and activities, with their Snapchat friends. Insight here will greatly help you understand how to snap a girl you haven’t talked to.
- Begin by referencing something interesting or noteworthy that she shared on her Snapchat Story. For example, if she posted a picture from a recent hiking trip, you can start the conversation by saying, “I saw your hiking adventure on your Snapchat stories. It looks like an amazing trail! Have you been hiking there before?”
- Consider a one second snap: A one second snap is a very short video or image that you can send to a girl on snapshot or post to your Snapchat story. They’re quick and provide visual context and an insight into you as a person. For example, if you’re on a beautiful beach, create a one second snap of a waves crashing with a caption of how beautiful the sights and sounds are. This is awesome advice for how to hit up a girl on snap you don’t know.
- Storytelling: The Stories feature allows girls to create a narrative of their day or an event by sharing a series of Snaps, making it a fun way to share experiences.
- Acknowledge Her Storytelling: Begin the conversation by acknowledging her storytelling skills or content. Compliment her creativity or express your appreciation for the stories she shares. For example, you could say, “I love the way you tell stories on Snapchat. Your last one was so captivating!”
- Ask About Her Creative Process: Show genuine interest in her storytelling process. You can ask questions like, “How do you come up with your storytelling ideas?” or “What inspires your creative content?”
- Comment on Specific Stories: If she posted a specific story that caught your attention, comment on it. Share your thoughts, reactions, or personal experiences related to the content of that particular story.
- Share Your Own Stories: If you have stories or experiences related to the themes she explores in her storytelling, consider sharing your own narratives or anecdotes. This can lead to meaningful exchanges and deeper conversations.
We’ve almost reached the point where online dating is an accepted, societal norm, and considering how many people I know and know of who’ve met their significant other through online means, we can’t reach that point soon enough. The ways that social media, apps, and dating services bridge people who might not otherwise have had a chance to meet is extraordinary, and has been one huge benefit to the human condition since we developed the tech that allows us to do it.
It has not, however, made dating easier across the board. No matter what you’re looking for in a romantic partner, dating is dating. If you don’t have that innate courage that lets you approach a stranger and speak honestly, openly, and directly, the internet isn’t going to magically bestow it upon you. You must learn how to talk to a girl on snapchat you’ve never met.
You have to work for it, and work up to it. Some guys consider snapchat a challenging platform to connect with a girl to start a conversation. You want to know if she’s interested before you actually have data to support whether she’s interested. It all comes down to fear and putting yourself out there with no guarantee of results. How to snapchat a girl you haven’t talked to becomes a skill which you cultivate and hone.
That fact doesn’t change whether you’re talking in-person or online, but it can appear to have changed when you’re interacting online. However, if you truly believe that it has, then you’re fooling yourself. Online communication has the tendency to apply a veil of anonymity over users, which some tend to embrace as some form of reassuring security blanket, allowing them to act outside of their normal behavior.
The only problem with this is the fact that, if you are genuinely interested in someone, they’ll be mightily disappointed when they find out how different the real you is from the “internet you.” In this way, online interaction–including interaction on Snapchat–can be awfully misleading, if not outright deceitful.
These are dangerous waters, and you have to be careful! Some guys consider this a big deal, while other guys become interested and consider the whole experience a challenge – like a funny inside joke only you’re in a reality tv show! how to start a snapchat conversation with a girl
That said, you certainly shouldn’t be discouraged from chatting someone up if you’re interested in them. The game of romance carries its own code and lingo, and while it may seem like it’s harder to decipher when you’re Snapchatting someone as opposed to speaking face-to-face, the fact of the matter is that it’s not more difficult; it’s only different.
Is it All Right to Snapchat a Stranger that I Like?
Put simply: yeah, it is! Millions of people find romance, courtship, or hookups–depending on what you’re looking for–all of the time! Nobody that has their mind in the present day is still shaming online dating, no matter where it occurs. A girl on snapshat is after all, a girl, and starting a conversation with a girl is hard whether it’s Snapchat or a dating app like Bumble or Tinder!
It’s the norm, now. It’s how people do things, and it’s working.
However, just because it’s “all right” to Snapchat someone that you’re interested in doesn’t mean there aren’t some basic principles to follow if you want to do it successfully. Keep in mind what was said above–don’t let yourself use that veil of anonymity offered by online apps to behave like someone that you’re not.
Be honest. Be forthcoming. Don’t be a jerk. Let’s talk more shop. Here are some guidelines on how to start a conversation with a girl on snapchat.
Don’t Push for Unwanted Advances
While it’s all right to Snapchat someone that you don’t know, you also need to be receptive to whatever they say–or don’t say! It doesn’t matter how highly you think of yourself; if your Snaps aren’t earning you the response you want, and your advances aren’t being reciprocated, it’s time for either a drastic change in strategy or time to back off, immediately.
We’re continuing this discussion under the idea that you’re not Snapping a good friend. Instead, you’re Snapchatting someone who you aren’t familiar with, whose likes and dislikes are foreign to you; someone who you cannot predict, and therefore shouldn’t make any expectations about.
Oftentimes, men and women get caught up in the assumption that the objects of their online affection are “speaking in code,” which we’re therefore obligated to translate. Many times, this is the case; we use short-form to describe our emotions and we punctuate our sentences with “lol,” even when nothing that’s been said is the least bit laugh-worthy. However, two reliable constants are the words, “Yes,” and “No.” Their meanings are never exchanged (no matter what you’d like to assume), and they’re the absolute clearest way to get an idea of how someone is responding to your advances.
If someone says, “No,” it doesn’t mean, “try harder.” If someone says, “Yes,” then its meaning is twofold: “Well done,” and “Try harder, because you’re doing all right so far.”
Most important, though, is to remember that you’re only going to make a nuisance out of yourself if you try to push against that wall of rejection. If this person tells you that they’re just not interested–no matter how that message takes shape–it’s important for you to not take it personally. Don’t tear yourself down and don’t beat yourself up. “There are other fish in the sea,” as the old adage says, and it’s time to move on. There will certainly be another girl on snapchat.
Be Honest
Here’s the biggest stickler for me, and it’s one of the most quickly violated tenants of online communication that I see. I wrote above about the “veil of anonymity.” It’s easy to scoff at it, but far too many people take advantage of the fact that open, honest communication takes more effort to achieve online.
It’s quite easy to put on a tone of voice that isn’t your own; to make claims that aren’t true; to offer flimsy promises; to act on advances that you don’t intend to follow through with. All of these things are tempting in the immediate sense because apps like Snapchat might allow you to get away from them. However, it’s only going to happen in the immediate sense.
When you use that veil of anonymity to falsely portray yourself–no matter how significant the claim–you’re being dishonest, and you’re setting yourself up for bad feelings further down the road. Not only that, you’re also setting up the person that you’re Snapchatting with a caricature of yourself that won’t be able to follow through once you’re face-to-face.
Be Safe
Gender doesn’t matter and age doesn’t matter. Be safe and constantly look out for your own safety.
When most offer this advice, they mean it only in the sense of your physical safety. However, as is the case with the majority of online interaction, your mental and emotional safety are far more frequently at stake. Here are some broad-reaching tips that will help to keep you safe while you’re Snapchatting away your romantic feelings:
- Don’t take everything personally. Everyone claims to have a thicker skin than they actually do. It’s popular to claim that you can take a certain amount of physical, emotional, or mental punishment and not be phased by it, but the truth is that this is rarely the case. Rejection carries an emotional toll in the same way that acceptance is an emotional boon. If you’re Snapchatting someone that you like, but don’t know, remind yourself of the fact that you do not know them. You should never place a huge amount of emotional investment in another person that you don’t yet know. It’s unhealthy!
- Follow the “quid pro quo” rule. The phrase made popular by Hannibal Lector during his delightful conversations with Clarice Starling in The Silence of the Lambs. However, the basis for it is a good rule to follow for all communication, especially that you’re just starting out. It most closely translates to “something for something,” and by that, I mean that you shouldn’t throw an avalanche of personality towards a person before receiving something in turn. Like all good romance, it needs to be a back-and-forth exchange or you’re going to exhaust yourself before you know it.
- Start simple. It’s probably a safe bet that the recipient of your Snapchatting doesn’t want to hear about the interior detailing of your BMW. They also don’t want to hear how you got your scar, the story behind your tattoo, or how extensive your manga collection is. For now. Keep those details to yourself and follow the KISS rule (“Keep it Simple, Stupid”). Don’t start with life stories; start with interests. Don’t start with invasive claims and outbursts veiled as “compliments;” instead, be personable and simple. “Nice eyes.” “I like your smile!” “You look so happy in that snap!”
Never Assume
Here’s another big one that can cover a wide range of ideas, but is pretty much always applicable. It’s very easy to jump to conclusions, and it’s also very easy to make assumptions about what’s going on in another person’s head.
When you can’t actively see their body language and facial features, this only becomes more tempting to do, often to the point that we do it automatically, without even realizing it. Here’s the secret to overcoming this potentially disastrous habit:
Remind yourself that the only thoughts and feelings that you’re able to control are your own. Ever. No matter what.
This ties in pretty intimately with my above recommendation of not taking things personally, but it’s useful to remind yourself of the fact when you’re Snapchatting someone with romance or hookups in mind. The very best thing that you’re capable of doing is being honest and direct; apart from that, another person’s reaction is out of your control.
Conclusion
Perhaps just as much as I’d recommend following the above, I’ll also say have fun! Snapchat was created with fun and expressiveness in mind, and so you should definitely embrace it when you’re talking to someone new. Get creative with filters, use stickers and lenses to spruce up your message and make your intentions clear. If you’re going to use Snapchat as your social media platform for pursuing someone, then take advantage of all it has to offer!
Whether you’re Snapchatting a girl or a guy, don’t hesitate too much simply because you don’t know them. If you like them, then that’s all the permission that you need to Snapchat them!
I’ll leave you with this: Is it weird to randomly snapchat someone? Not really, and given all that we’ve discussed, you now you have some tools on how to text a girl on snapchat you don’t know and start a conversation!
