Most people want to interact with them because everyone enjoys a good laugh. However, some people are not naturally humorous on their own. It can be tough coming up with good jokes to tell your friends when you don’t have a lot of practice. That’s where we come in.
Below you will find a compilation of over 100 funny Facebook status from around the web. Feel free to post them as your own status to help your friends and family get a good laugh. Or you could post them on Twitter, which is even better suited to an exchange of short, humorous jokes and observations! Also, feel free to comment below on your best status you’ve seen or even written yourself.
We’re happy to hear from you and share the enjoyment with all of our readers and friends. That is, after all, a huge part of what social media platforms like Facebook are all about.
“Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings.” – Ellen DeGeneres
How To Create A Funny Status
Before we dive into the best statuses, let’s go into a bit more detail of how you can write and come up with your very own creative and unique status or post. There are a few things I recommend keeping in mind that I’ll highlight below.
1. The number one thing to keep in mind is to be yourself no matter what. Make sure you don’t say anything that you wouldn’t normally say or that doesn’t fit your personality.
2. Avoid making fun of other people, especially people you’re friends with on Facebook. No one likes a joke at someone else’s expense. It’s especially important not to “punch down,” as it’s known in comedy circles—which is to say, not to make jokes at the expense of people less fortunate than yourself. This will just make you look like a bully, and the comments to your status will just be a huge polarizing argument. And that’s not what you’re trying to accomplish—you’re just trying to make your friends happy.
3. Read through the list below and find your favorite ones and make note of why you think they’re funny. If you get an idea for why you think they are the best ones, you may get an idea for a new quote. A large part of humor is finding your voice. Especially when you’re not sure of yourself, a good way to start is focusing on what’s already out there that you find funny. After a while, it will become second nature, and you’ll be able to come up with humorous observations on your own.
4. Continue to try out new and creative posts. Remember that anyone’s best work does not come on the first try, it takes some time and patience to come up with really great material that will impress you friends and make them laugh.
5. Keep an eye on the Facebook pages of some of your favorite comedians or other celebrities. George Takei of Star Trek fame has become quite well known of late for his amusing posts. If you can share some of these amusing updates before your friends, they’ll see you’ve got a good eye for funny material. Be careful about passing that stuff off as your own, though. Some of your friends will notice, and you’ll get the reputation as “the copycat,” as opposed to “the one who always finds the funniest stuff.”
6. Ultimately, make sure you’re having fun with the whole process. Use one of the status suggestions below if you can’t come up with any. Or just read through them for a good chuckle. Make sure you’re enjoying yourself.
Ultimate Funny Facebook Statuses
Now, we’ll get into the good part, here are the 111 funniest Facebook statuses that we found from around the web and on Facebook. They are a compilation from all over the place and from around the world. Let us know in the comments below if you have your own status that you want to share. It’s fun to see what everyone can come up with.
- There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life
- I find it so inspiring to watch people lazier then me. I still have much to learn.
- Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
- VHS tapes never let you down.
- I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the script #DamnTeenQuote
- Reason why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. I don’t have a girlfriend.
- I don’t care if my fingers break off, I will NOT make two trips to carry in 70 bags of groceries!!!
- I want to change my name on Facebook to “No One,” so when I try to add people, it will say, “No One wants to be your friend.”
- Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I’m so hungry
- I love my job only when I’m on vacation
- Isn’t it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
- I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
- You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
- Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don’t want to look like a dork.
- I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- Part of me says I can’t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, “Don’t listen to that guy. He’s drunk.”
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
- I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life’s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
- Seeing a spider is nothing. The problem is when it disappears.
- Hey sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
- Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our Internet speed… I mean his Internet speed. Or whatever…
- Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
- The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Nothing like a long weekend to make you hate Monday even more.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that
- That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
- Movies are so unrealistic. This guy’s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
- People around the world has gone so lazy, I am sure World war 3 will be fought online!
- When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
- God made everything that has life, everything else is made in China.
- If by “help decorate the tree” you mean drink beer on the couch yelling out everything you’re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
- Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy
- Kidnapping? I prefer the term “surprise adoption”.
- Guess who has three thumbs and found a severed hand in the parking lot: THIS GUY!
- Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn’t that be an even number?
- I didn’t give you the finger. You earned it.
- It’s like I want to be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
- Being the fat guy at McDonald’s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business.
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
- The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades
- I’ve never seen a tombstone that read: “Died from not forwarding that text to ten people.”
- One-thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children
- When you take an awesome selfie you automatically think, yep that will be my new profile picture.
- Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap
- I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
- Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion dollars … Idiots!!!! They could have downloaded it for free!!
- Dear life, When I said, “can my day get any worse?” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge
- It’s so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.
- How am I supposed to be impressed by a computer winning at Jeopardy when Google usually knows what I’m looking for after 2 letters?
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
- I’m always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
- Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
- I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves
- People say “Happy Thanksgiving” which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying, “Don’t eat too much”. Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
- When setting the table, does the remote control go to the left, to the right or over the dinner plate?
- Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
- The average human body is made of enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- I totally understand how batteries feel because I’m rarely ever included in things either.
- When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- Sorry for what I said before I had my coffee.
- The best thing about hand sanitizer is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
- I like to name my iPod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ I click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.
- If you’re going to keep being so attractive, I’m going to need you to make out with me.
- Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them is wearing pants?
- I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana — mafia.
- Turns out an At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift.
- I survived 15 years without Internet but now it’s hard to survive 15 seconds waiting for a page to load.
- It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
- You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
- It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
- I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
- If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at someone’s house, I always take a piece home with me.
- You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
- I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly
- Old people at weddings always poke me n say “You’re next”. So I started doing the same to them at funerals…
- I’ll change my Facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and I press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
- When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
- Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.
- When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation.
- As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it’s important that you lower your expectations.
- Who has connections to Connecticut? That’s where rich people go to live the rest of their life in the woods
- That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.
- They say, “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m awesome
- For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
- When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
- Shout Out to the Kids in the Projects that left some Milk & Cookies out for Santa but the Roaches got to it first.
- Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.
- It’s not that I’m afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- It’s not hotter this year. It’s just that you are fatter and there is more surface area for the sun to hit.
- I’m the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb diffuser.
- If I had a dollar for every concert I couldn’t go to I could probably go to a concert.
- I wish you could Google anything. Like, “Where is my phone?” and it would be like, “It’s under the couch idiot.”
- Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
- People who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people.
- When I drive if you beep your horn 1 second after the light changes green I will shut off my car, lay on the hood & feed birds for an hour.
- Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won’t cut a bagel in half … Not even on top speed
- Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
- Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to “expose yourself to other cultures.”
- Kindergarten lied to me: I expected crayons to be a much larger part of daily adult life.
- I could never cheat in a relationship that requires 2 women to find me attractive.
- Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.
- Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply Chap Stick.
- For years, I thought I was allergic to hot chocolate because every time I drank it, I got a stabbing pain in my left eye. The doctor was baffled, so he had me drink hot chocolate. “Ah, there’s the problem!” he said. “You’re forgetting to take the spoon out.”
- The bathroom graffiti at my church is weird. There are four stalls in the men’s room, and the fourth one’s door is missing. Someone has labeled them “First John,” “Second John,” “Third John,” and “Revelation.”
- What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?
- Today I sent out a text saying, “Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?” 12 people called me…I need smarter friends.
- I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood
- I only eat balanced meals. If nothing falls off of my plate, then clearly they must be balanced.
- If by “help decorate the tree” you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you’re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
- When I get home from school, the first thing I look for is food.
That wraps up our list of the funniest Facebook status and posts of all time. Can you come up with any other great ones? Let us know in the comments below.
Also, share on Facebook so your friends can get a laugh as well!